Back during my student years at university, I watched my friend deteriorate. My flat mates and I worried as it consumed her. Years later, we can share her ordeal with anorexia, and she has spoken to me here. (The name used is fictitious.)
“大学是我与'Anore tocuse'的无情战斗的开始。我的病阻止了我开心，现在我后悔我错过的社交活动数量。”（Ofelia，25）
The art of the masquerade
我的朋友是一个好女演员。在她参加的聚会上，我很高兴看到她衷心的饮食。这是一个令人信服的行为。但是她自信而起泡的态度掩盖了她面临的麻烦。客人没有看到的是她每天施加的严格惩罚。
Each morning she grabbed a handful of bran-flakes. She would use her hand as a measure, but then removed the flakes until maybe 10 or fewer remained. For lunch she ate some lettuce sandwiched between two small pieces of bread and there was some cheese in it somewhere. Dinner would be a salad of some sort, but you could be sure of one thing, it wasn’t substantial.
Everyday the same routine. On top of this she exercised a lot and walked everywhere. No matter how tired she was, the bus was not an option. To travel by bus was a sign of weakness and she would force herself to climb the hills in town.
Most eating disorders encountered in the community are atypical. Therefore, they might not be so obvious to spot as the more extreme神经性厌食症。全尺寸的零马拉基和西方社会对体重的痴迷似乎使某些人愚弄了饮食失调是一种生活方式的选择。
However, this belief that it is a vanity issue couldn’t be further from the truth and I am fed up with people saying “Oh, she’s anorexic because she wants to fit into a pair of skinny jeans!” No, no, no.People don’t choose to have an eating disorder. They don’t choose to live with depression, anxiety and low self-esteem.
“这是一个负担，在精神上和身体上都耗尽了我的负担。我渴望摆脱它，但与此同时，我渴望坚持下去。”
Who do you think you are?
“我一直在努力忠于自己。”
Personality can play a major role as a risk factor for eating disorders。患者具有不同的人格模式，与从未患有这种疾病的人不同。
“我遭受与饮食失调相关的共同性格特征；高度完美主义，强迫症和神经质。我不仅让这些角色成为我的角色的一部分，还让他们统治我，所以我的生活就是限制和惩罚。”
完美主义通常是主要的罪魁祸首。饮食失调和从一个人恢复过的人往往具有升高的完美主义水平，担心错误和对自己的行为和组织的怀疑。
“对我来说，完美主义既是祝福又是诅咒。为了在我的学位上取得成功，不断的任务，测试和体育承诺，控制我的生活的唯一方法是通过饮食，特别是通过限制饮食。我通过极端的努力来控制身体的外表，从而引发了我的完美主义。不符合我所需的标准会导致数小时甚至数天的自我批评和厌恶。”
Seeking treatment
“我为我对全科医生撒谎并浪费了营养师的时间感到ham愧。我想开放，但很害怕承认这一点。他们希望我保持健康，但我无意听。减轻体重的想法使我充满了恐惧和恐惧。”
还有关于饮食失调的污名和this can act as a barrier, preventing sufferers from accessing treatment. Psychological disorders do not elicit the same sympathy as medical conditions. Instead, they are通常被认为是个人的错, for it is assumed that everyone is in control of their mental health and are considered to be responsible for their own illness. This is particularlytrue for those suffering with eating disorders。
“起初，我不愿寻求咨询。我为承认任何问题都感到ham愧。我自己的骄傲本来可能是我的失败，但我担心人们会如何反应。我有足够的时间理解我为什么这样做。局外人怎么能理解？当然，他们会认为我很愚蠢，我只能责怪自己。”
It can be both difficult and daunting to accept that one needs professional advice and treatment. However, the sooner you seek help the better, as you are more likely to regain a healthy attitude towards eating.
“当我终于准备寻求帮助时，打开和卸下我的麻烦真是一种解脱。这真是一个陈词滥调，但确实觉得自己已经举起了重量。没有人审判我，他们理解并对此很敏感。
“我见过一位议员和一名治疗师。两者都是重要的支持。我可以自由地与他们交谈，我们一起解决了我病的根本原因。”
Going through treatment often means that for a certain period one has to让别人接管ins绳并委托他们做出重要的决定。
“当我处于最糟糕状态时，我实际上无法自己决定。如果我做出决定，就会有“厌食的声音”惩罚我。我精疲力尽，很高兴交给治疗师。”
Road to recovery
“I’ve definitely improved. I wish I could say I was free, but the ‘anorexic voice’ is always there lurking in the darkness. Thankfully, I now recognize when I’m on the verge of a relapse. I still have the occasional break down but I can stop it taking over my mind like before.”
“I’ve realized that forever punishing and denying myself was/is no way to live life. I might still shy away from some socials, but for the most part I can go out for a spontaneous meal or coffee outing. It might not be perfect, but I am winning and one day will hopefully defeat it.”
注释